Renegade Mystic

Sharing My Musings With You!

I’m SO Done. Are you?

It doesn’t feel good anymore.

I’ve been inside the realms of tantra, spirituality, and self-awareness – those thing that supposedly catalyze growth – for a very long time. (Longer than most)

As I see posts from others in the community, posts offering insights and challenges, I’m not *feeling* it anymore.

Answers aren’t exactly clear right now. Many feelings are surfacing that I’ve not made sense of yet.

I keep looking for ::more::

Something fresh and new. Something authentic and activating.

But I don’t see or feel those things.

It feels hollow. Empty AF.

It’s not just me. I am clear that many so-called teachers and experts are asserting ideas and narratives that wreak of dogmatism.

While I get that the things that previously brought us joy or succor aren’t exactly doing that any longer, I wonder why I feel a lack of joy, an absence of connection, an emptiness, feelings of “that does not resonate” and “same old, same old.” Preaching to a choir of those who will listen; those who are unsure enough to overthink and question themselves. Repeatedly.

Please hear me!

You don’t have to follow the “code” or buy into a limited way of thinking.

You don’t don’t need anyone to tell you how to be, how to heal, how to find love, how to understand, how to BE.

You/we are much more powerful than that.

Too many are taking the things I love and hold most dear – the very studies and practices I hold precious – and making them finite and absolute.

That’s not Tantra.

That’s not true spirituality.

It irks me to no end when teachers and practitioners make these ancient esoteric teachings about people’s shortcomings. They work to make people feel less than, and as though folks have no clue.

It pisses me off that people are taking something as All-Encompassing as Tantra and making it about sex.

Fuck that shit.

These teachings in Truth are more expansive, more forgiving, and way more encompassing.

It’s not dogmatic. It’s not absolute. It’s not clear cut. Its not about having all the answers.

It’s about living into evolution and finding profound expansion.

It’s about being in integrity.

It’s about living fully in the world and finding the magic and truth in every little and big thing.

It’s leaving room for deeper awareness.

It’s about being ok with not knowing anything.

It’s about allowing space for the Universe/Spirit to show you the way in each precious moment.

It’s about finding new ways to think, be, act, revel.

It’s about surrendering to the Great Mystery of Life.

It’s about getting on your fucking knees and being bowled over by the exquisite, utter beauty and profundity of All That Is.

It’s also about knowing that you hold the Truth and the “codes” inside you because you live, breathe and exist on Earth in a 3D/5D reality.

You absolutely know the truth. You absolutely *are* pure unobliterated love.

You are whole and complete.

We need only to remind ourselves of our magnificence and magnitude.

We don’t need a bunch of “teachers” or gurus or anyone to break us down or apart. You/I/we do not have to be triggered, hurt, blown apart to find at every turn, to know love.

Growth, evolution and understanding don’t always have to be painful.

We can do this Work through love and vulnerability. We can do this Work by being :present:

We can tune in, trust, have patience, take care, and allow the Unfolding to occur.

The Tantra, Spiritual, self-growth communities are becoming too full of themselves. They forget the humility of crawling belly-down in the muck. They assume they have the answers. They prod and provoke to appear wise.

I’m over it.

My sincere desire is to find the Way through this facade and re-engage, re-emerge with a fresh, new perspective. My desire is to live simply, and powerfully.

How can we emerge from these false ideas and find a better way to THRIVE?

Transformation, Shamanic Death and Sovereignty

I am THRILLED to share this potent conversation I had last week with Transformation Goddess Shann Vander Leek on her podcast This Sacred Life.

We talked about Transformation, Shamanic Death and Claiming Your Sovereignty – topics that are pregnant with poignancy for most women at this time – especially if you’re in the midst of change or navigating midlife.

When we got off our call, we were both BUZZING from the energy. And that feeling lasted all day long!

Go take a listen: https://transformationgoddess.com/transformation-shamanic-death-and-claiming-sovereignty-with-lisa-adams

If this speaks to you, please share this with your friends. This is The Work we are engaged right now.❤

Death Process for the Living

It seems as though I’m becoming an “expert” in Shamanic Death. However reluctant.

Shamanic Death is a process of Ego Death wherein everything you know yourself to be, the things you identify with/as, the role(s) you play, the archetype you embody, must die.

When this occurs, life is changing on the most profound levels.

People leave

Job/career change

Health challenges

No longer enjoying the things you used to love

Feelings of uncertainty

The systems and structures you once counted on, fail you

You recognize ingrained behaviors and patterns and how they’ve directed your choices

Sometimes this death process comes as a result of graduation, divorce, birth, the passing of a loved one, menopause, and more.

But, that’s not always the case.

There are times when we are being called to the next, new expression or iteration of ourSelves. When we must relinquish all that we’ve held dear. When we let go of our entire fucking identity.

We may even have mastered our identity/archetype/expression/understanding of ourselves so much that it colors our perspective and how we interact with all of life. It’s our zone of excellence.

But, the Universe calls us out. It beckons us into our zone of Genius. It asks more from us. It needs us to show the fuck up in our lives. It needs us to be present and engaged so we can usher in a new way of BEing. A new way of life.

A new world.

The changes often start out small. Then get bigger. These changes are happening in your life and all around. They appear on the “outside” while inside the rumblings are much bigger. More terrifying. The Universe doesn’t mess around. It wants your full attention.

Earth-shattering. Eruption. Lightning strike. Tsunami. Tornado.

This may feel like sitting with pressure, discomfort, inertia, not knowing, no guarantee (not that there ever was one of those.) It’s such a profound experience you don’t even know how to explain it to your most beloveds. You feel it on a soul-deep level. (Akin to the primordial ooze phase of a cocoon.)

If you are able to recognize what is happening- that you’re in this process- it may become easier. You can then decide to actively let go, shed, release, and stay curiously open to the process. Thoughts might sound something like “Oh! There’s goes the next thing. And that person is on their way out. This situation sure sucks. There goes another person who’s not true blue….” and so on.

You bear Sacred Witness to it all. And marvel at the utter madness, ingenuity and beauty of it.

Here’s a hint: whatever you hold most dear is probably the very thing you must lay on the sacrificial Altar of Life.

I’m deep in the throes of my own death. Again. Again?! Yeah.

Apparently it’s embedded in me, this process. Or, I must secretly reallllllly, really love it. <eye roll> Or, it’s my mutherfucking Superpower.

There are other ways to engage your process. You can ritualize it through sacred ceremony: You can make an effigy and burn it (cremation), you can bury your former self/identity. Please do not hesitate to give it/you a loving memorial. And allow your tears, grief, laughter, pain – all of it – with compassion, forgiveness, gratitude. You wouldn’t be you (whoever or whatever that is) if not for that past you.

As you and I undergo our very personal dying experience, please know that the entire world is undergoing the same. Can you see it?

Furthermore, know that every ending ushers in something new. You get to be reborn.

We are all dying

Q: What did you do last night?

Me: I was in the woods burning stuff with all the other witches. (DUH)

But truly, this is the time of year when we honor the dead, pay homage to our ancestors, and let go of our attachments to things that no longer serve us.

Blah, blah, blah, right? Heard it all before… Rather cliche at this point.

Yes.

But, it’s the time of Scorpio. Let’s take this deeper.

Much deeper.

Acknowledging Death is one of the most important things we can ever do. Death is an absolute. It’s a capital T Truth.

Without Death, life has less meaning.

Without Death and decay, this 3-D timespace continuum would be utter chaos. It would also be claustrophobic AF.

Society fears Death because it’s become so sterile and has been removed from our day to day existence. We run from it instead of facing it head-on.

(Ever notice how those facing death who’ve come to accept it without fear have the most peaceful continence and epitomize Grace?) chew on that a bit.

Acknowledging Those Who Have Gone Before – the ancestors – keeps us humble, and tethers us to lineage. We come to understand that we are connected to everything and everyone. Our ancestors fought, strived, loved, endured, learned and evolved so that we could be here now, continuing the Cycle of Life. Their good works carry forward to ours. This is legacy.

The thing is, American/Western culture isn’t good at making room for lineage or holding sacred space for the stories and customs of ancestors. We’ve lost our sense of Mythos, and as a People, we are grappling with our sense of identity.

How many of you actually know the stories of your people? Their names? Their accomplishments, passions, struggles? I admit I know very little about mine and was blessed to know my maternal great grandparents who tried to teach us and keep the stories alive.

Nature is perhaps the very best teacher and example of how to live life fully. When we follow Nature’s example, we know when to seed, grow, fertilize, fruit, harvest, shed, die, lie fallow, begin again. It may be metaphorical, but the more tapped in we are to these truths and these cycles, the more we come to know and embrace our True Nature. The more we *know* simply because we *are*.

As the trees and most all other plant life gloriously celebrate and shed their finery, they become stripped down, bare, naked. Though it would seem being naked makes them vulnerable, it’s the exact thing that gets them through the cold harshness and starkness of winter.

Nature draws within itself, rests, gathers energy, goes “underground” to tend to roots, find nourishment.

And so it is with us. We prepare to rest, go inside, draw inward and tend our roots – our subconscious. We go Dark. We go deep beneath the ground of our souls.

It’s time to celebrate and shed. Make sacred and ready the space for the next growing season of your life. Lying fallow. Bare. Naked.

How do we shed and strip?

Look at what feels stuck or stagnant.

Find the heaviness in your body, mind, emotions, (and in whatever areas of your life) and feel into it.

Journal and acknowledge what isn’t working out, what your challenges are, and ask “out loud” the questions that linger.

What is dying or begging to leave that you’ve not had the (fill in the blank) to let go of?

What precious gift or thing in your life must you relinquish so that the universe can richly bestow you?

What is your most sacred offering or sacrifice? Chances are it’s the thing you hold most dear that you must lay upon the Sacrificial Altar of Life.

There’s not much time left to consciously engage this most exquisite of Work. Not doing the Work invites fate to step in and hardcore make the decisions for you. So, are you going willingly, or unwillingly?

Last night I made my most sacred offering/sacrifice ever. It will take time to process, grieve, cry, and further let go. But, that’s a very necessary step.

Give yourself the compassion of allowing your tears and grief, time to rest, allow yourself to not know. ‘Tis the season.

My love and heart are with you.

Do your rituals.

Make your offerings.

Cleanse. Purge. Smudge. Release.

Repeat.

Rest.

Show up as Grace and reverence.

~Lisa C. Adams

I died

I died

I underwent serious Shamanic Death in 2015. Everything was stripped from me – health, family, “friends”, work, etc.

As I began to understand the enormity of what was transpiring, I would witness as more was leaving, taken, purged, and I would remain detached and curious about the process.

I decided to actively partner with the process as I purged and released more, and more. Willingly, even, after a time.

It wasn’t easy. But necessary.

It was also achingly beautiful.

Towards the end of the active process, I made an effigy of myself and all the things about me that I was letting go of. And I buried her.

I gave her(former me) a lovely, private burial ceremony. I wept in gratitude. It was quiet, peaceful.

So much so, that my next thought became “I have no idea what I just did, but this ought to be HUGE.”

And it was.

I surrendered to the process and watched as more was stripped away – my home, my business, more of my possessions. And to some extent, my community.

Then a sudden, intense AF heartbreak occurred. And I was broken open more than I ever had been in my life.

I came to understand that the pain I was experiencing and expressing was the culmination of pain I’d never felt, released, or expressed throughout my current lifetime. And some from past lives.

The miracles that flooded in Graced me in such an astonishing way, I’m filled with tears to recall it.

I sobbed from pain, from opening, and from gratitude all at once.

I easily felt all the pain of the world. And the pain of those around me who were struggling or undergoing life-threatening illnesses.

I wept for months.

Some of what I’d let go of was returned to me- true heart-gifts of love, people who are the truest loved ones in my life.

I also came to realize that part of the pain was in the holding on. I was still holding on to hopes, dreams, aspirations, and that undergoing Shamanic Death means that those things must die as well.

For all the initiations I’ve undergone – most of them willingly, some not so – this life, death and rebirth was the hugest, most profound I’ve endured.

In many ways I’ve become “unfuckwithable.”

Life has a way of initiating us. Some of those things we accept, willingly.

Others, not so much. That’s when we make things harder on ourselves.

When we emerge from these experiences/events, we are at once no longer recognizable, and more ourselves than ever before.