Sharing my musings with you
Regardless of your religious or spiritual beliefs and practices, you have a ministry. And you have an impact on the lives you touch.
Your ministry is made up of your family, friends, people you work with, your community, and strangers you cross paths with through daily activities. It’s your Facebook friends and others you interact with on social media.
Having a ministry means you have responsibilities. It is your job to interact with everyone in ways that are honest, loving, healthy, uplifting, inspiring, and revealing.
It may be something as simple as flashing a smile at a stranger you pass on the street. Or, being honest with your friend about the unhealthy choices they are making. It could even be kicking your addicted adult child out of the house in an act of tough-love.
As you go through your day, everyday, bear in mind the sacredness of each interaction you engage. Check your intentions, and be sure of where you are coming from. Are you coming from a place of Spirit, of love? Or are you coming from a place of fear, ego, and unhealthy patterns?
Spread love, smiles and joy. Be truthful – hold your convictions in a loving way. Don’t judge, but hold an honest mirror of support. Help, but don’t enable. And, if need be, walk away and cut ties, sending love and light in your wake.
The work we do is Holy. Each thought and intention, every word we utter, any action we take – it is all sacred. There are consequences to everything we do. Choose to make your impact one of Holy Love.
Yesterday I went to see my dear friend and shaman, Micheal Runningdawn, for a healing session. I was delighted that he seemed drawn to the areas where I feel I’ve been working on healing and resolving for some time now. One of those areas was my throat/ throat chakra.
He asked me if I sing or had ever sung, and I told him yes, when I was young, and that I crank music up and rock out in the car, singing at the top of my lungs. He said that what he was *getting* was that I needed to scream my truth, and suggested I write a poem or maybe a song about my saga/drama/situation with my family. And, that it might be a way towards further healing for me. Then he went about the remainder of the session, giving me bits and pieces of helpful information along the way.
Later, as I was driving home and rocking out, I thought about what he said. I had an experience/ understanding that occurred to me.
It made me cry.
I was listening to music and singing along, thinking about singing my truth – screaming it out, writing a song about my situation with my family.
I grew up singing. I was incredibly talented from a very young age and sang in chorus in school everyday from third grade on. When I saw the movie Grease, I had two copies of the album and just *knew* that I would grow up to be Olivia Newton-John!
Whenever someone would come over, I’d ask to sing for them. It was always the thing that was most important to me and that I was best at doing. A first soprano, I was always the featured vocalist and was sent to perform with the best of the best in the state. Every single year.
Until I was kicked out of the house when I was 16.
That’s when I stopped singing.
I went to live briefly with my dad (who was strung out on drugs and alcohol, but a loving father) who was about to lose everything to bankruptcy. Then, I went to live in my grandmother’s boarding house once dad’s house was seized by the bank.
Going back to my parent’s was not an option, but an exercise in depression, dysfunction, and chaos.
I spent the last part of my junior year, and my entire senior year of high school in a new school.
With all that had happened I was so numb, so confused, so angry and ashamed. I didn’t understand why I had been kicked out, and felt unloved. I didn’t want to go to school.
I just wanted to party, get fucked up, chase boys, and escape.
So, I took as few classes as I could to get enough credits to graduate, eschewing chorus to just have the shortest class schedule I could. Even then, I often skipped school. It’s a miracle to me that I somehow managed to graduate on time.
When I was driving home yesterday and thought about how stopping singing corresponded to being kicked out, I realized that I, in essence, punished myself by not continuing the one thing I held dear. And, I cried when that realization hit home.
Not singing, not continuing to sing, is the single biggest regret I have in life. Perhaps the only regret.
Anyway, I needed that cry, and that deeper understanding of what occurred 30 years ago. It makes me so sad and mournful.
As the years have passed, I’ve had thyroid issues and have been told again and again, by healers and by my astrologer, Anne Ortelee, that my thyroid issues are directly related to the baggage from my family. (Imagine that!)
The deeper understanding from yesterday comes at a visceral level and informs me that I am further along in my healing process. I don’t know exactly how to transmute this energy, but I know that not only is it possible to move past this and heal my thyroid and my voice, but that healing will occur.
For now, you can bet that I will be doing more singing and rocking out.
I was invited to an annual Solstice gathering and Slava feast hosted by some very dear friends. Part of the invitation was to bring a reading, poem, or something of the like to share.
I went through some poetry and books that inspire me, but didn’t find that just “right” thing. Two books I consulted had some “almost right” things. Those books, both by Marianne Williamson, contain lovely prayers I’ve used or turned to many times over the years.
As it typical of me, I take parts of the prayers, add my own words and phrasing, and make up the “just right” prayer for me, for the occasion I seek to address. And, of course, true to my nature, that is exactly what I did in this case.
While much of what you read is inspired by Williamson’s work, much of it is also my own. I owe her credit and appreciation for the boost in making this prayer what I wanted and needed it to be.
I think the power of this prayer is best felt and experienced when read aloud.
A Prayer for Love and Light at Solstice
O great and gracious Divine
May there come over this Earth a great and glorious light
Changes that would shift this world
Away from sorrow, and into peace
Away from pain and suffering, and into joy
Away from war and hatred, and into love.
Please show us how to love.
Teach us how to extend our light into the lives of others.
Remove from us the barriers to our souls,
So that we may discard the armor that guards our hearts,
And keeps us from vulnerability.
Dissolve our resistance to joining and connection.
Heal our resistance to love in all its forms.
Let us not shut down.
We wish to show up with pure and noble hearts,
That we may midwife perfection in ourselves and others.
May we see each other’s greatness and invoke each other’s light.
We surrender all the ways in which we block our love for each other.
We surrender our defenses.
Where we do not know how to behave, or are needy, or tend to control, or fix, or be dishonest,
Please, Beloved Divine, show us another way.
Where we would be distracted, or addicted, or otherwise not present,
Please help us to show up fully present, in our earthly bodies.
May all sorrow depart,
May all disease end,
May war cease and fighting stop,
May every tear be wiped,
May doubts dissolve and be replaced with hope.
May all hearts heal and gladden,
May we not forsake each other.
May the world be reborn and healed from the trauma and misunderstanding of the past.
We surrender ourselves to You.
We surrender our love to You.
Beloved Divine, we offer ourselves as vessels for Your Light and Healing,
May it serve Your purpose.
May this world graciously receive the blessing of Your Love and Light.
We are grateful.
(Note: some phrases were borrowed and edited from the works of Marianne Williamson from her books Illuminata and Illuminated Prayers)
My rad friend and SiStar Priestess Denise “Dirty Mother” Cumor, did me the honor of interviewing me for her blog Moon Over, where she interviews kick-ass women dedicated to the work of helping other women rise.
The following blog was originally written for, and appeared in HolisticDiva’s Summer Solstice Symposium. In preparing to publish it here, I am including more background information as an addendum. The follow-up at the bottom of the post is the most recent update to the writing, the ritual, and the process of my own healing and life circumstances.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass. — Maya Angelou
The purpose of this reading is to decipher the current energies related to the Full Moon in Aquarius, and to guide and inform us on how to best work consciously with energy so that we will benefit.
This reading takes us from the Full Moon forward 2 weeks, until the New Moon. The cards are drawn as close as possible to the apex of the Full Moon, and consist of an animal totem from the Medicine Card deck, a card from the Goddess Oracle deck, and a crystal ally from the Crystal Oracle deck.
Together, these cards inform our primordial selves with information that has been deeply encoded in our psyche for many lifetimes.
This just happens to be a Blue Moon as well, which amps up the wattage on the power. Taking in to consideration all the other astrological aspects – Venus, Uranus, and Eris retrograde, Saturn in Scorpio, stationing to go direct right as this moon is full – we have a perfect storm of chaos, cataclysmic change, and deep soul excavation.
Are you feeling it? Breathe. Trust.
On the other side of all of this is more alignment with your dreams, the end of situations that don’t serve or work any longer, and more peace of mind.
We began working with Sophia at the New Moon, learning to tap in to our own inner wisdom, identifying patterns, and finding the tipping point where we get to make a different choice, forever shifting the ways we get stuck. Rhodochrosite steps up as our crystal ally, asking us to choose love. When we choose love over judgment, we are also learning to love and accept ourselves. Rabbit speaks to us of fear and how to keep it from standing in the way of all we love, all we know, all we desire.
Read below for detailed information and insight, and for ways to use this energy to go farther, and walk better on your personal path.
Sophia – Goddess of Wisdom, female soul, source of God’s true power, wears many faces – Black Goddess, Divine Feminine, Mother of God.
A fecund, pregnant Sophia offers her cup of wisdom to you. She urges you to become still and look inward to listen, feel, see, and know what guidance needs to come through. Sophia wants you to connect to your own deep, enriching wisdom and guidance.
Are you in a pattern, doing the same thing or finding yourself in similar situations, over and over again?
Taking the time to truly settle in to your inner Sophia can reveal your next action steps and means to transmute the old patterns once and for all. As you go within, find where She resides – where is it? What does it look like? Smell like? Feel like?
Once you find Her, you can return to your inner Sophia again, and again. Use this time to push past the old limitations and patterns. You can do it! Everything you need to know is inside you.
Rhodochrosite – We learn about ourselves through relationships with others. From a Divine perspective, everyone we meet is a reflection of ourselves.
What we see in them – the things we admire, those things which we dislike – are all reflections of what lies inside. We feel aligned with those traits we like and admire, and feel disdain for those characteristics we deem negative.
Often, that which we dislike, is something within us that we refuse to look at, and own as ours. The truth is, that we would not be able to recognize such things if they were not within us, or had been part of our character at some point in the past.
Rhodochrosite is a stone of love and joy, encouraging us to elevate above judgment of others to discern what their traits reflect about ourselves. All relationships are a mix of positive and negative, helping us to broaden our understanding of life and love.
When you look at yourself in the mirror, do you see love? Can you look upon yourself with love and compassion within your heart?
Love and accept yourself as you are right now. Go to that place deep inside your heart, where beyond perceptions of good and bad, there exists only Love.
Rabbit – Rabbit asks you – What are you afraid of? What do the voices inside your head have to say? What negative tape is playing on repeat that you have decided to believe is true?
You are not your thoughts!
You don’t have to feed those thoughts or buy in to them. Thoughts are energy forms and fearful thinking calls the exact things you are afraid of into being. Rabbit says that what you resist, what you most fear, you will become.
Stop talking about horrible things happening, and get rid of worry-based thinking and action. Your worries about the future will not help you to control the outcome. And, in fact, may call that worse-case scenario to you.
Face your fears and release them. Own up to what haunts you, and defy it by moving ahead triumphantly.
Here are some helpful action steps to take over the next two weeks. Simple, but powerful, these rituals will help you transmute the blocks and limitations indicated in the cards. Use the full moon and waning moon energy to assist you.
Stand in front of a mirror for several minutes and take note of what thoughts and judgments arise as you gaze upon yourself. Each time you notice a negative thought, replace it with a loving thought, or even the opposite. You wouldn’t say such harsh things to someone you love, so why would you say and think such things about yourself? Treat yourself as you would your dearest friend.
Take time to write down all the fear-based thoughts that pop into your mind and play repeatedly. Then, either burn the piece of paper, or rip it to shreds and throw it away. Go somewhere outside and allow yourself to feel all those fears, allowing them to play out in your mind. As you feel the waves run through you, let that energy run down your body and in to the ground until they are gone. Make them a Divine Offering to Mother Earth. Replace the self-defeating, fearful, worry thoughts with new thoughts that are positive and brimming with possibility. Repeat as often as necessary.
As always, take time to rest and relax, Do the things that nourish your soul. Practice extreme self-care. And, when need be, turn everything off and burrow in for comfort, or go hide out in nature.