Renegade Mystic

Sharing My Musings With You!

Kick Ass and Transform Your Life

Kick Ass and Transform Your Life

The following blog was originally written for, and appeared in HolisticDiva’s Summer Solstice Symposium. In preparing to publish it here, I am including more background information as an addendum. The follow-up at the bottom of the post is the most recent update to the writing, the ritual, and the process of my own healing and life circumstances.


I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass. — Maya Angelou

In preparing for this symposium, I started out writing my life story, then realized I was stating the facts without exposing the feelings. I felt devoid and detached from it, even as I am in the midst of deeper introspection and healing of my Core Wound than ever before. Though I’m sure that many of you would identify strongly with my story, I won’t bore you with all the nit-picky details (blah, blah, blah…). I’d much rather encapsulate and distill it all down to the root, then share a kick-ass way to transmute old wounds and patterns to fuel your dreams.

At the core of my Work is the desire to heal, grow, and learn in such a way as to ascend well beyond the patterns of dysfunction that I, and my clients, grew up with. I was raised in your typical dysfunctional suburban family (who wasn’t?) And, it became the catalyst for my spiritual growth and transformation. Growing up dysfunctional paved the way for the spirals and layers of knowledge and understanding that is my Core Soul Work.

The alcoholic-codependent relationship was my model growing up. Add to that a narcissistic mothering style, and there you have a recipe for extreme teenage angst, and patterns of dysfunction in adult relationships. Mine.

I never felt good enough, accepted, or that I belonged.

I longed to feel loved, nurtured, affection. Black sheep, scapegoat, wild child – that was/is me. These feelings, coupled with my parents’ unhealthy life skills, inability to cope, and lack of empathy, led me to act out as a teen. Misplaced desires for attention led to hanging out with the party crowd. Misplaced desires for affection led to sex at an early age, and hooking up with lots of teenage boys. A complete ignorance of boundaries found me skipping school, engaging in risky “new experiences”, and acting out in desperate ways. My parents were so caught up in denial and their own dysfunctions, that they didn’t know how to handle me. They blamed me for the dysfunction in the family (yes, a teenage girl is obviously the responsible party) and kicked me out at age 16.

That became a turning point for me.

While the risky behavior continued for some time (and even got a little worse at times), I began asking soul-searching questions. Who was I? Why didn’t my parents love me? Why couldn’t we get along? What do I believe? And thus began my spiritual path.

Along the path have been many crossroads, u-turns, and other pivotal moments. And the shedding of behaviors, limits, patterns, beliefs and relationships that held me back and kept me stuck in places I didn’t want to be. I have cried and danced, fucked, meditated, gotten high, and been to the lowest depths. It’s been a wild ride and a fulfilling adventure. Ultimately, this path has been about learning self-love and acceptance, keeping my heart open despite pain, and going deep in to the darkest places of my soul to find my strengths, own my faults, and to learn how to fully stand in my Power.

I am a work in progress.

The layers that I shed, reveal more beneath. And the Work continues. It deepens and intensifies. Over the last 2-3 years, the planetary alignments that include 7 Uranus-Pluto squares, have forced us all to evolve, either willingly and consciously, or kicking and screaming in pain. And here I am, dancing in the Dark, facing some of the most difficult, challenging, shamanic-soul-shifting I’ve ever encountered; as my Core Wounds from childhood have come to challenge me for an Epic battle that will see me transmute and triumph, or stay stuck and struggle, never living my potential.


And I intend to KICK ASS!

I’ve been in the midst of this darkness for some time, and instinctively I’ve sensed the need for rituals of alchemical transformation and self-initiation. Not just for myself, but for many women I know. I’d like to share with you parts of this ritual so that you can engage in self-creation at the most primal, fundamental level.


Ritual shifts your consciousness on all levels, and aligns your intentions with Universal energy to bring about the desired results. Take all the parts and use them together, or just the parts that speak to you. Do it all at once, or over time. Do them once, or repeatedly. And, add your own brand of Power and magnificence to personalize your experience and healing.

Cleanse and clear – clean your home/space/environment. Clear out the clutter, take out the trash, put things away. Dust, vacuum, etc. Then, smudge using sage, palo santo, sweet grass – whatever smudge you love most. Smudge, clean and clear yourself. Bathe in sea salt and baking soda to strip your energy field of psychic debris. You may even begin with some fasting. It’s your ritual, you decide.

Perform a meditation I refer to as The Council of Self. You go into a meditative state, then call a council made up of all your guides, angels, deities, ancestors, animal totems, crystal allies, etc. Then speak with them about what you want to change, what needs to shift, and what should be called in. Once you’ve established this Council, you can always go back and ask for their help and counsel.

Cut the cords. Feel into your energy field for cords of connection to people, relationships, places, situations, patterns, trauma, etc. that are sucking your energy. These can be the things that happened forever ago that still bother you, an ex-lover, whatever you find yourself complaining about, or that hostile work environment that drained you. Once you are aware of these cords (most are around the abdominal region) cut them for good. You can use string as a representation and cut it, or use your hand like a knife, your fingers like scissors, or a special knife or sword (my favorite method) and sever those energetic ties. Then, with your mind’s eye, see those strings cauterized with Light so they are healed.

Shamanic burial. Make an effigy of your old, former self – the one you want to let go of. Or the parts of you that you are giving up and no longer serve who you are. It can be anything, even something as simple as a picture of yourself that was taken during a time in your life when you felt powerless. Then give the effigy a burial and treat it much like you would an actual funeral with burial. Say a few words, dig a hole in the earth, and bury it. Bid it farewell with love and gratitude. “RIP old shit I no longer need!”

Soul Retrieval. Go into a meditative state and travel back through your life to the moments where you gave your power away, or were left drained, changed from your authentic self, or altered in a way that didn’t feel good or “right”. Imagine making different choices, standing up for yourself, and standing fully and firmly in your Power. Call your power back to you in the here and now. Retrieve it, reclaim it, re-integrate it. Just last week I saw a great blog post from Danielle LaPorte with a proclamation that fits perfectly with this part of the ritual – “I call all of my Power back to me now! I am whole and complete.” Say it like you mean it. Say it until you believe it and feel it. Say it as often as necessary.

Set your intentions. Whatever it is that you want to have, do, be, change, summon, in your life, get clear about it. Then send your intentions out in to the ethers. An effective and simple way to do this is to write down these things in a clear, concise way, and burn it.

Consecration. You are made anew and your initiation has taken place. You will be setting your feet down on a new leg of your path. It’s time to consecrate yourself. You can get all primal-shamanic with this and use ash or blood to consecrate and bless yourself. Or you could use your favorite lavender or rose oil. Anoint your third eye, your heart, your solar plexus, your yoni, your feet, and whatever else speaks to you.

Give thanks – gratitude is everything. Count your blessings, feel the gratitude for your life and your journey. Then breathe deeply and rest, integrating all that you’ve done.


This is the powerful Work of the Soul. Go forward, and find daily rituals and reminders of your Initiation, that will further strengthen and reinforce your intentions and the changes you are making.

As your SiStar in Spirit and Solidarity, I send you my fierce love and utter devotion as you walk the path of healer-warrior.



Just over five years ago, I began living alone. That is, I left my marriage of over a decade, and have been living alone since then. I moved out on my birthday which, has since become a time of reflection where I take stock – an internal inventory of where I’ve been, what I’ve learned, and what I’ve accomplished. Of course, I quantify these things on a mental, emotional, spiritual level, counting personal growth and spirituality as my center. My greatest assets.

I’ve found living alone to be satisfying and healing. I enjoy my own company. There’s inner work that can only be done or accessed by being alone. Self-love has been the greatest gift of being alone. Insights, quiet, introspection, space, self-reliance, independence – have all been part of the equation. I’m one independent, self-reliant, strong woman. I stand alone. And, I’m surrounded by love, and by loving, supportive people. Soul Tribe.


The biggest lesson(s) of these last five years by far, has been the lesson of boundaries and boundary-setting. I marvel that it took such a long time (40-something years) to finally be getting these lessons. And, that it has taken so many messengers to bring the lesson home. I’d like to thank Saturn in Scorpio for the harsh reality, and simultaneously tell it to fuck off and let me find some levity. The universe, my guides, Goddess, great Spirit- whatever you want to call it – really, really wanted me to *get * this lesson.

Through meditation, My Council of Self holds regular and on-going meetings – often when I’m in the tub. But I can call Them at any time and do so in a special place of power that I visit in meditation. This place of power is also where I perform many rites of healing. Either I, my Guides, ancestors, or even nature spirits conduct healing within a sacred circle.

[The Cleanse and Purge]

Over the past year I’ve watched my life change externally as a result of the internal changes I’ve made. As I set new boundaries or asserted myself in ways that are healthy and best for me, I’ve seen the falling away of all that is false.  I think I know more about what love is. I definitely know what it is not. It’s not lies, betrayal, denial, or neglect.  I’ve shed belongings. I’ve changed my lifestyle to drop some weight, address health imbalances, and get clear on what my body is telling me. My smudging and ritual baths are on-going.

[Cord Cutting]
I left a work situation that lasted a brief time, but was hostile, unhealthy, unprofessional, and just outright bizarre. It’s amazing to me that crazy people somehow manage to have money and keep a business afloat. Good riddance. I saw a friendship disintegrate as I called out behavior I found harmful. Then, was accused of being fake by the same person who closely emulated everything about me, buying the same clothes and jewelry, dying their hair the same color as mine, and even trying to do and perform the same work as me, despite having no experience.There was the long-overdue dissolution of a relationship that I strived hard to make work. Repeated forgiveness only goes so far when the other person refuses to tell the truth. Apparently I stay too long in situations that don’t serve my highest good, determined to make things right and prove (to myself?) that I did the work, and have what it takes. I finally (FINALLY) stopped accepting the lies, cheating, and siphoning of my energy and resources.

I saw my family’s issues play out in grand dramatic fashion, much like they had when I was 16. Only this time, I didn’t allow the blame to be put on me. At first I became frantic searching for ways to help them heal (I am a healer, after all) before realizing that I am not responsible for their healing or emotions. They are. Adults that don’t take responsibility for their own messed up lives, cannot keep blaming a 16-year old child for everything that is wrong in the family. They also can’t control the woman she has become in the same manner, or by holding inheritance over her head, unless she allows them to do so. I’ve come to peace with knowing they never have, and will never be capable of, giving me the love I wanted, craved, and needed so desperately. I pray that we can find some way of having meaningful relationships.

My nurse practitioner denied me a refill of my thyroid medication when I couldn’t afford the week’s worth of income to come for an annual exam that I technically don’t need. After all the years of being fastidious with my health, spending money there, and sending dozens of referrals her way, she saw fit to hold my medication hostage. Fuck that! She’s fired.
Most recently, I was fired from a place where I’d worked for 7 years. I quickly became the top producer there and stayed on top. I cut my hours back to pursue my business, and began setting boundaries around not coming in to work on my days off, or sitting around bored on days when work was scarce. Apparently, my boss became concerned that I’d leave and take my clients, considering me a threat, so he let me go. I’d figured out some time ago that he is fueled by greed and not interested in the lives of the people that work for him. I’d prayed for some time about the situation, putting my faith and trust in the Divine to provide me with the guidance I needed. Being fired was clearly the sign I’d asked for.  I’ve performed my cord-cutting ritual over and over again. And, I will continue this practice until I see that the remnants of all that I released, are completely gone.

[Soul Retrieval]

The shedding and purging of false relationships has made room for more trust and fulfillment in the true relationships in my life. I’ve seen them deepen, and I’m noticing my willingness and ability to let down my guard. I look for this trend to continue. And I welcome the deepening.

There are times when I wonder if the Inner Work of self-growth will ever be done. Or if it’s possible to learn and grow in fun, happy ways. I’ve been in darkness for several years, but I see the light growing brighter.  That said, I wouldn’t trade any of the pain, tears, anger, hard lessons, and hard-earned wisdom the darkness brings. That’s some real power right there.

I pushed past a huge fear and lack of technical know-how to build my own website. I’m now fully self-employed. Responsible for my own destiny. I’m looking for the next steps on my path, ready to take leaps, and spread these new wings. I have dreams and inklings of greatness that I’m learning to accept and embrace. Now, the challenge is melding my intuitive nature with proper planning and goal-setting that goes well beyond day-to-day survival.  Months ago, I contacted a Shaman to aid me in my own soul-retrieval process. There is still some work to do here, but I feel that most of the major incidents in this lifetime have been re-integrated. The little girl and the teenage parts of me are much happier, and feel safer than ever, in my care. I am loving them, and myself, more than ever. All the facets of me that wanted for love, nurturing, and care, are receiving exactly what they always craved, because only I can give that to myself.


[Shamanic Burial]

I’ve been engaged in the Ritual of Alchemical Transformation for months now; a ritual that has taken time, and has been completed in steps. Not necessarily in the order I thought it would go, and the ritual is not yet complete.

Just over a week ago, I performed the Shamanic Burial. I had a profound moment when the crows spoke to me on the Full Moon just before Samhain. They told me that since Samhain was upon us, the moon would be waning, as well as the sun, the time for the burial was at hand.

It’s been apparent for some time now, that I am not the person I used to be. The old ways of being and doing things no longer serve me, and no longer call to me. The grip of old patterns has broken.

I went through my photos and easily found the perfect pictures of myself at my unhappiest, lowest, un-empowered, numb, complacent self. I wrote what was dying and those aspects of my former self that I was laying to rest. The pix below are the representations of what I shed, release, and let die.



















The effigy was shrouded and a gift was included. I performed a very intimate, personal, loving farewell tribute as I buried her in all her forms by digging a hole, placing the effigy, and putting a stone over it. Then topped it off with dirt. No marker or headstone except the one in my heart

I even shed a few tears as I thanked her for getting me here, and for all she endured.

The processing and grieving is still at hand. But I am at peace with her passage. At Samhain, in ritual, she was gently ushered beyond the Veil.


[Set Intentions]

I’ve taken control of my health issues and will be going to graduate school soon, to help myself and others heal and achieve optimal health. My life has opened up in magical ways, proving to me that I am loved, provided for, and on the best path for me.

Finally, I have so much love within me, so much I want to share with my loved ones, my community, the world, and, a partner. I yearn to live and love with a worthy, equal partner. I’m ready. I have desires. I also know that I have a great deal to bring to the table. I’m the kind of woman and partner others dream of. The total fucking package. I know that person exists and is somewhere looking for me, too.

This desire is not out of loneliness, or of neediness like co-dependence. This is born of the natural existential need to love.



I’m grateful that the Divine so clearly has my back and is nourishing the seeds of dreams that were planted a few years ago. While fear looms at times, I’ve learned to believe in myself and trust that I will be provided for. Another lesson: opening up to, and receiving all the good that the Universe has in store for me. I’m walking forward with trust and faith. I have many moments throughout the day when I just pause and give thanks for my tremendous blessings – especially the very special people in my life. Gratitude never ends. It is an on-going, never-ending practice.



The consecration part of the Ritual has not yet occurred. I will know when the time is right. I expect to consecrate myself in multiple ways, including new ink in my flesh as applied by a shaman friend. Perhaps I will blog about that step of the Ritual process when it happens.

A new awareness is that I have not felt the need to rush or push through the last year of profound change. As I let go, and trust in the Divine, I find that many things come to me effortlessly, and in good time. Life flows better and it feels much easier this way.


Thank you for taking time out to read about this process. Rituals of Alchemy and Transformation are soul-shaking, unearthing higher levels of potential than you may have thought possible. Most of the change takes place within, at a deep soul-level. Love this process. Embrace all of it. See the good in the falling away of all that is false; that it is truly making way for your dreams to be fulfilled.




Blue Full Moon in Aquarius Alchemical reading

The purpose of this reading is to decipher the current energies related to the Full Moon in Aquarius, and to guide and inform us on how to best work consciously with energy so that we will benefit.

This reading takes us from the Full Moon forward 2 weeks, until the New Moon. The cards are drawn as close as possible to the apex of the Full Moon, and consist of an animal totem from the Medicine Card deck, a card from the Goddess Oracle deck, and a crystal ally from the Crystal Oracle deck.

Together, these cards inform our primordial selves with information that has been deeply encoded in our psyche for many lifetimes.


This just happens to be a Blue Moon as well, which amps up the wattage on the power. Taking in to consideration all the other astrological aspects – Venus, Uranus, and Eris retrograde, Saturn in Scorpio, stationing to go direct right as this moon is full – we have a perfect storm of chaos, cataclysmic change, and deep soul excavation.

Are you feeling it? Breathe. Trust.

On the other side of all of this is more alignment with your dreams, the end of situations that don’t serve or work any longer, and more peace of mind.

We began working with Sophia at the New Moon, learning to tap in to our own inner wisdom, identifying patterns, and finding the tipping point where we get to make a different choice, forever shifting the ways we get stuck. Rhodochrosite steps up as our crystal ally, asking us to choose love. When we choose love over judgment, we are also learning to love and accept ourselves. Rabbit speaks to us of fear and how to keep it from standing in the way of all we love, all we know, all we desire.


Read below for detailed information and insight, and for ways to use this energy to go farther, and walk better on your personal path.



Sophia – Goddess of Wisdom, female soul, source of God’s true power, wears many faces – Black Goddess, Divine Feminine, Mother of God.

A fecund, pregnant Sophia offers her cup of wisdom to you. She urges you to become still and look inward to listen, feel, see, and know what guidance needs to come through. Sophia wants you to connect to your own deep, enriching wisdom and guidance.

Are you in a pattern, doing the same thing or finding yourself in similar situations, over and over again?

Taking the time to truly settle in to your inner Sophia can reveal your next action steps and means to transmute the old patterns once and for all. As you go within, find where She resides – where is it? What does it look like? Smell like? Feel like?

Once you find Her, you can return to your inner Sophia again, and again. Use this time to push past the old limitations and patterns. You can do it! Everything you need to know is inside you.



Rhodochrosite – We learn about ourselves through relationships with others. From a Divine perspective, everyone we meet is a reflection of ourselves.

What we see in them – the things we admire, those things which we dislike – are all reflections of what lies inside. We feel aligned with those traits we like and admire, and feel disdain for those characteristics we deem negative.

Often, that which we dislike, is something within us that we refuse to look at, and own as ours. The truth is, that we would not be able to recognize such things if they were not within us, or had been part of our character at some point in the past.

Rhodochrosite is a stone of love and joy, encouraging us to elevate above judgment of others to discern what their traits reflect about ourselves. All relationships are a mix of positive and negative, helping us to broaden our understanding of life and love.

When you look at yourself in the mirror, do you see love? Can you look upon yourself with love and compassion within your heart?

Love and accept yourself as you are right now. Go to that place deep inside your heart, where beyond perceptions of good and bad, there exists only Love.



Rabbit – Rabbit asks you – What are you afraid of? What do the voices inside your head have to say? What negative tape is playing on repeat that you have decided to believe is true?

You are not your thoughts!

You don’t have to feed those thoughts or buy in to them. Thoughts are energy forms and fearful thinking calls the exact things you are afraid of into being. Rabbit says that what you resist, what you most fear, you will become.

Stop talking about horrible things happening, and get rid of worry-based thinking and action. Your worries about the future will not help you to control the outcome. And, in fact, may call that worse-case scenario to you.

Face your fears and release them. Own up to what haunts you, and defy it by moving ahead triumphantly.


Here are some helpful action steps to take over the next two weeks. Simple, but powerful, these rituals will help you transmute the blocks and limitations indicated in the cards. Use the full moon and waning moon energy to assist you.


Stand in front of a mirror for several minutes and take note of what thoughts and judgments arise as you gaze upon yourself. Each time you notice a negative thought, replace it with a loving thought, or even the opposite. You wouldn’t say such harsh things to someone you love, so why would you say and think such things about yourself? Treat yourself as you would your dearest friend.

Take time to write down all the fear-based thoughts that pop into your mind and play repeatedly. Then, either burn the piece of paper, or rip it to shreds and throw it away. Go somewhere outside and allow yourself to feel all those fears, allowing them to play out in your mind. As you feel the waves run through you, let that energy run down your body and in to the ground until they are gone. Make them a Divine Offering to Mother Earth. Replace the self-defeating, fearful, worry thoughts with new thoughts that are positive and brimming with possibility. Repeat as often as necessary.

As always, take time to rest and relax, Do the things that nourish your soul. Practice extreme self-care. And, when need be, turn everything off and burrow in for comfort, or go hide out in nature.

New Moon in Cancer Alchemical Reading

The purpose of this reading is to provide insight into the energy of this New Moon, and to inform you of the best ways to work with the energy for the Highest Good. Each Alchemical reading consists of three cards – one from the Medicine Card deck, one form the Crystal Oracle deck, and a card from the Goddess Oracle deck.

The overall sense I’m getting from these cards is that it’s time to love yourself fiercely, and to assert yourself more than ever, towards your goals. Ask yourself if your restlessness is better channeled in to rest and meditation? Or taking action and being assertive in your endeavors? New Moons are great times to set new intentions and goals, and work with them for the following 28 days, riding the wave up to Full Moon and back again. This New Moon in Cancer is feeling like a great time to start fresh and build momentum. Here are the nitty-gritty details….



Badger – The power of Badger medicine is the ability to be aggressive and fight for what you want. Badgers have a reputation for being vicious and quick to pounce, tearing their opponents to shreds.

Many powerful medicine women have Badger as a totem ally. Badger lives beneath the ground, in a burrow. It therefore sees, and is the keeper of the medicine roots. These roots are the key to aggressive healing as they ground negative energy in to the Earth by allowing it to pass into the ground as neutral energy.

Badger has much to say and you should heed the words that resonate most to you. You may be too quick to express your emotions without care for the consequences. Badger may also reflect the aggressive healer who will have the courage to use unconventional means to exact a cure. Not giving up until healing has been achieved. Badger medicine people do not give up on their dreams and goals. They are often the “boss” or the one that keeps everything going. They get the job done.

Ask yourself these questions – Have you been too meek in trying to attain your goals? Have you been expressing your anger in an unhealthy way? Do you feel helpless in some way? Do you lack aggressiveness or initiative? Take some time to go within and reflect on these questions. Then, maybe journal and explore the answers you find.

It may be time to use your anger to fuel you. Get angry about what you want to change, then find creative ways to channel that anger energy and DO SOMETHING that brings you closer to your goals. Put pictures and/or words around your environment that help you keep your sights set on the outcome you desire. Your anger is best used to get you moving and taking action. Do not allow apathy as an option!

Do not use your anger against yourself or another in harmful ways – that is too much aggression. Be constructive with it, instead. Or find ways to get it out of your system and release it harmlessly.

Use Badger’s healing to remove internal barriers and find new expressions of Self. Stay grounded and let the old, negative crap pass down into the Earth.




Ruby – This is a stone of true love and passion. You will soon find yourself glowing with new-found feelings of joy and wonder. Reflect on all you have to be thankful for and the special memories you hold dear. Release and forget the bad times, holding on to the love that was present then. Love yourself with fierceness and forgiveness, which is a sure way to usher in renewed love in all your relationships.




Sophia – Goddess of Wisdom, female soul, source of God’s true power, wears many faces – Black Goddess, Divine Feminine, Mother of God. A fecund, pregnant Sophia offers her cup of wisdom to you. She urges you to become still and look inward to listen, feel, see, and know what guidance needs to come through. Sophia wants you to connect to your own deep, enriching wisdom and guidance. Are you in a pattern, doing the same thing or finding yourself in similar situations, over and over again? Taking the time to truly settle in to your inner Sophia can reveal your next action steps, and provide means to transmute the old patterns once and for all. As you go within, find where She resides – where is it located? What does it look like? Smell like? Feel like? Once you find Her, you can return to your inner Sophia again, and again. Use this time to push past the old limitations and patterns. You can do it! Everything you need to know is inside you.

Full Moon in Capricorn Alchemical Reading

The purpose of this reading is to decipher the current energies related to the Full Moon in Capricorn, and to guide and inform you on how to work consciously with energy to capitalize on its benefits. This reading takes us from the Full Moon forward 2 weeks, until the New Moon. The cards are drawn as close as possible to the apex of the Full Moon, and consist of an animal totem from the Medicine Card deck, a card from the Goddess Oracle deck, and a crystal ally from the Crystal Oracle deck. Together, these cards inform our primordial selves with information that has been deeply encoded in our psyche for many lifetimes.

There are some lovely aspects represented here, with heart-opening, new ideas and creative expression, as well as fun, playful energy. Abundance, prayer, and gratitude are also featured. I can hardly think of more favorable aspects than these. Read on for more specific details and information on how to work with these energies.



Bast – Bast represents the life-giving, pleasurable aspect of the Sun, and rules pleasure, joy, music, dance, health and healing, the Moon, and cats (DUH!) She asks if you know how to play and what play means to you? Have you given any priority to playing? It’s likely you’ve been working so hard that you’ve forgotten to give yourself a break to play. Bast is urging you to come and play with her. She teaches that a wonderful way to nurture wholeness is to play. Discover which ways you enjoy playing, and do them.



Chrysoprase – Many wondrous experiences are in store for you! Chrysoprase helps open the heart center, allowing you to feel the presence of Divine unconditional love. A period of fertile creativity is upon you. You’ll give birth to new ideas that will reflect and align with your true Divine essence, enabling you to express that essence in a loving, compassionate way. As long as you remain true to yourself, you can create, manifest, and achieve all you desire. Listen to your heart, be guided by your intuition, and you will create the success and fulfillment you desire.



Buffalo – in Native American traditions, Buffalo is associated with the sacred pipe. The pipe represents the merging of masculine and feminine energies merging to seed Life. Pipe ceremonies “smoke” prayers in to being, and send them out to Great Spirit. Buffalo is also a symbol of great abundance, for it provided a major source of sustenance to the people. Buffalo was willing to be used for the highest good of all.
Ask yourself the following questions to be sure that you are aligned with the medicine of Buffalo:
Have I forgotten my eternal partner, Great Spirit?
Am I pushing myself too fast in the physical world, and keeping myself from seeing and knowing the importance of reunion with the Source of all life?
Have I forgotten to honor the ways of others and to afford them the same respect I wish to receive myself?
Do I feel that my life is being used for the highest good at this time?
Have I forgotten to be grateful for everything in my life – my friends, possessions, talents, health, family, etc?
Is it time to make peace with another, or to make peace with some inner conflict so I can walk in balance once again?

Use Buffalo medicine to give praise for the richness of life, and, for the sharing of that richness with all of life. Use the energy of prayer for others that their needs are met, that harmony prevails. Perhaps you need to be humble enough to pray for help for yourself. Then be grateful for what you receive. Recognize and honor the paths of others, and enjoy the peace that comes with knowing that all paths are sacred, albeit different from your own. Reconnect to the meaning of life, the Source of all that is, and praise the harmony of connection. Use your life for the highest good.


If you would like your own Alchemical reading, contact me here to set it up – I’d love to work with you!

Letter to My Inner Child

Letter to My Inner Child

It’s tough growing up, sometimes. You look to the adults to give you what you need and want. But, you must understand that they are in pain, and often unable to cope with life in healthy, loving ways.

There are so many things you need to know:

Little Lisa, you’ve no idea how loved you are. How smart, beautiful, creative, capable, and special you are and will always be. Your confusion and pain cloud the truth – that you are so dearly loved.


You did nothing wrong and are not at fault. Others put the blame on you to divert attention from their flaws and failures. As long as they focus on something else, they don’t have to look at, address , or take responsibility for their own poor decisions and unhappiness. They are not your responsibility, so no blame lies with you. You were only a girl doing your best to be happy despite your environment. Blame is the language of victimhood which doesn’t allow one to take responsibility.

Though they lied to you, those lies weren’t meant for you; the sad truth is, they were actually lying to themselves. And they still are.

There is a great deal of truth and wisdom in “I’m rubber, you’re glue – everything you say bounces off of me and sticks to you!” The many times you were told that you were undeserving, they were feeling undeserving, and wanted you to be more like them. But the truth is, you deserve everything you want, all the wonderful things that life has to offer.

They try and try to make you feel small, bad, guilty, in order to make themselves feel better. What they are really doing is projecting their own smallness on to you. You now know who you are, and can firmly grasp what belongs to you, and what is not yours.

Excuses are the language of the apathetic. They would rather complain and make excuses than make an effort to change.

All those things you want to do and be, you can do and be! Nothing is stopping you. You are limitless despite being taught otherwise. Those teachings are fallible, and therefore don’t apply to you. Refuse to listen to those voices that hold you back or tell you that you can’t do something. That independent, rebel spirit inside – this is where you apply it to get past a lifetime of negative messages. Rebel against “you can’t.” Rebel against so-called limitations. Fuck what other people think.

Some people are so used to darkness, because it’s all they know. It becomes comfortable, familiar, safe. When you shine the brilliant, beautiful light within you, they become scared. They think that light will hurt them. And, they know that the light will shine on their lies. When light reveals the truth, then it means people have to change. And for some reason people are afraid of change. Shine your light in your own, beautiful, bright and shiny way. And embrace changes, because that’s how you grow and evolve as a person.

So, forgive them and love them anyway. They can no longer hurt you, because you have the power to set boundaries. This new power is what protects you and all you hold dear. It lets people know that they can’t lie and hurt you any longer.

I am your mother now. – the adult you. I am here to give you everything that you never had – all the love, protection, guidance, attention, affection, the gifts, joy, fun, truth – everything your heart desires. I love you. I recognize the bright light inside you, and want to nurture that light to shine as bright as possible. I will hold you and ensure that you know you are always loved.

Don’t linger any longer on the hurt, their shortcomings, or the things they aren’t capable of giving you. Don’t give over to bitterness and resentment. To do so would make you just like them. Instead, be grateful for learning how not to be, for learning to be independent, self-sufficient, for being sensitive, for rising way above their circumstances.

You’ve done very well for yourself. And, you’ve done it without their help. You have a great life steeped in meaning and love. You are truly amazing, and have such a wonderful life ahead.

I love you.

A word about healing your inner child.
The most important part is loving yourself. Give yourself all the love, emotional support, forgiveness, protection, and parenting you were missing as a child. Keep pictures of yourself at different ages around or on your altar. Do things specifically for your inner child, like eating her favorite food, or listening to her favorite music. Talk to her, often. Be gentle. This work is a lifetime endeavor.